To Self Publish or Not to Self Publish: That is the Question

Well, here’s my dilemma of the day. Or month. Or year.

I initially felt pretty strongly about traditionally publishing Blood of the Gods. Even just a few weeks ago, I felt strongly about it. I thought that was my best path forward in terms of audience reach and overall engagement. But, now, the more I think about it, the more I wonder… Should I self-publish instead? There are some undeniable pros to self-publishing.

There is an undeniable truth in here. I haven’t been querying for very long—three months, that’s all! But as Trump takes U.S. office, queerness is about to be tamped down. Severely. And now, more than ever, is a time when stories of queer joy need to thrive.

There are a lot of other angles to consider. Should I use a pen name? I don’t want to. I worked so damn hard for my name, and to use anything else feels so disingenuous to me. But, as someone who’s gunning to publish a book with a non-binary main character, featuring a religious system that is inherently queer, I may have to consider it, for my own safety.

My initial turn off for self-publishing was the out of pocket cost. I’ve already made some crucial investments in this manuscript. Ideally, I’d like to get some line & copy edits done, plus I’ll need to commission a cover design, purchase ISBNs, among other things. In my head, I thought, “hey, if I tradpub, those won’t come out of my pocket!”

But maybe the monetary investment is worth it. I can afford it, even though I’m a bit of a drama queen about money (sure, my day job underpays me like hell, and the cost of living in the DMV area is sky-high, but I do still make a monthly profit). And maybe, just maybe, if I market the book well, I can earn that money back.

There’s another downside of tradpub that’s been nagging me as of late.

Literary agents do NOT like representing a series, if an author is otherwise unpublished. It’s a big commitment. It’s a major turn off.

The first solution I considered was, “I’ll write another book and publish that one first!” Which would have been all fine and dandy, except for the fact that it would delay Blood of the Gods’ publishing by many more years. And BotG is a story I take a lot of pride in, I’ve put a damn lot of hours into, and I really, REALLY want to get out there into the world.

I’ll write more books, no doubt, but I already have one written. Why upend everything?

If I self-publish, I don’t have to sit around and wait until I hook an agent and convince them to sign on for a series. I can publish Blood of the Gods and its sequel, and possibly even that spinoff idea I’ve tucked away in the back of my head, if sales go well.

So many variables to consider. Ugh! But I think I’m going to dedicate the rest of January to self publishing research. I’ve otherwise been in a bit of a holding pattern with Blood of the Gods, given that I needed to stop querying for sake of the holidays.

For now, though, I’m going to take a deep breath, stop stressing, and make myself a cup of hot cocoa.

By the way, the PRIME way of making hot cocoa: Get yourself a nice, big mug. The biggest one you own. Fill the mug halfway. No more than that. “But Wren, what do you do with the other half of the mug? What a waste! I’ll just get a smaller mug!” Listen. Come close. Put your eyeballs right up to your screen.

You need the big mug.

Because you’re going to fill the rest of that thing with marshmallows. Pile ‘em on. Let ‘em heap over the top, if you’re feeling zesty.

My family always teases me. “You want some hot cocoa with those marshmallows?” But I’m right, and I will die on this hill. 50% cocoa, 50% marshmallows.

Catch you all next time!

Wren Rivers

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